You've Reached The Confessional Hotline..

*Chorus of angels* "You've reached the confessional hotline. A product of the church's ongoing effort to remain relevant in the lives of 21st century catholics. In order to ensure a swift salvation. Please enter the number corresponding to the commandment you've broken. Press 0 for the 10th. Press # for "other"........*pause*...................Thank You! All of our clergy are currently assisting other sinners. Stay on the line. Please use this time to recite Hail Mary's and repent with more conviction...BEEP"