Monday, March 8, 2010

Finding My Niche

Should I blog about my keen political observations as planned?
haha, with my next blog titled something like, "My Big Fat Greek Economic Crisis" ?

Or should I go the self-indulgent route and blog about my "unique American experience"
I'm a geeky, latina lesbian with a Republican bent when it comes to politics. I suppose that provides quite a bit of fodder for subject matter.,I was examining my fat deposits in the mirror after I got out of shower the other day... I can't for the life of me get rid of my FUPA.* Yes, of course I've tried Pilates. The fuckin' fairy Godmother from Cinderella could not make my FUPA disappear with a wave of her wand. Although I'm sure she could make it sing "bippity-boppity-boop"... Gah! why did I just picture the fairy Godmother naked.....that was so very very wrong. That was worse than the image of Kathy Bates in About Schmidt. This naked fairy Godmother mental image severed the last lingering thread of my childhood innocence.
So, back to the topic at hand..finding my Niche...hmm. So, like I said...being latina and geeky...I grew up being a fan of both Sabado Gigante and the magic school bus. I'm probably one of the only people in the world who thinks "La Cuatro" would be an awesome substitute teacher on The Magic School Bus if Ms. Frizzle ever found herself unable to teach the class due to swine flu:

haha....La Cuatro! ..."Me dijeron que cuidara mucho el cuckoo!." - "They told me to take good care care of my 'cuckoo'!"

....Don't mess with the woman's cuckoo.

I can imagine her beginning a field trip with something like this:

"Hola ninos! Olvidense del cheto! Hoy exploraremos el estomago de Arnold despues de comerse un burrito supreme con chile extra picante! Y esta vez saldremos por el cuckoo! esto es lo que pasa cuando no cuidas tu cuckoo."

"Hello kids! Forget the cheeto! Today we shall explore Arnold's stomach after he's eaten a burrito supreme with extra spicy sauce! This time we'll come out of the cuckoo. This is what happens when you don't take care of your cuckoo!"

haha.That's gross.

Blah, at the risk of alienating one potential audience base or another, I may just do a little bit of everything....

*(<-Asterisks as promised.) If you don't know what that is, look it up in I swear, these days, more people look up words in UrbanDictionary than the real dictionary.

Haha, suck it Webster.

Speaking of which. I want to go back in time and kick Noah Webster in the balls, just to see which one of the thousands of words in the dictionary he would utter to convey surprise.

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