For just 7.25/hr. ...I will follow you around with a stereo and an archive full of sound effects, ready to turn your life into an episode in a British comedy..
I will be ready to make you feel better with a "laugh track" when nobody found your ethnic joke funny because you're white.
I will be ready to play the "sad trombone" sound when you witness an epic FAIL as you're stalled in traffic throughout your morning commute.
I will be ready with an ironic "drum roll" when that relative at Thanksgiving -whom everyone already knows is gay, stands up to 'make an announcement'.
The next time you're at your child's little league game and forget you're not at home yelling at the TV..... I will have the "censor beep" ready at hand to spare the children's ears and sanitize your profanity laced tirade aimed at the referee.
I will cue the "Darth Vader" theme from Star Wars when your boss walks into the room.....
All this and more when you hire...ME...your SOUND EFFECT ASSISTANT FOR EVERYDAY LIFE!
You can hire me for a couple of hours throughout the day to make your work day a little more entretaining...OR...Make an appointment today to book me for your next: corporate event, bar mitzvah, AA meeting. Whatever. *
As long as this "whatever" is a 2 hour minimum.*
Location: Utah County
I'm curious about what kinds of responses I'll get...perhaps I'll post them in a future entry..